Girls with the same face in every picture.
frozebydesire: . This is hilarious
Angry Birds influence: daughter now uses expression “killing two pigs with one...– @jimfenton (via chartier)
Missed The Toilet
Sandy: I'm cleaning up saturdays mess
me: is there puke in your bathroom from when you missed the toilet?
Sandy: no! i covered my mouth and puked on my hand and just on my shirt a leel
Sandy: it wasn't that bad.. but still pretty gross
me: omg i can't stop laughing
Phuong: i think i'm going to turn off my emotions and be more cutthroat.
Sandy: like my homie D?
Sandy: that's cooo
Phuong: my heart is too big
Phuong: i mean, it's small
Phuong: but it's still too big.
Sandy: But its a big small?
Phuong: it's like an acorn
Phuong: and i need it to be a pea.
Phuong: a frozen pea.
Phuong: i'm sexting you a picture of my wiener
Phuong: whoops! wrong window.
10 Disturbing Photos Of Masked Monkeys →
The Fast Food Files: The Workers Are Illiterate →
OH MY GOD THIS PLACE IS GROSS! These taco bells have all been knocked down and rebuilt due to conditions that no longer make them sanitary enough to eat at. Now this being said i like taco bell and I eat their healthy options because im not obese, as well as i don’t go there much but this…
What they don’t tell you is that this child is a robot.
“(For the record, McAvoy would have preferred it... →
tawdryquirkshop: “(For the record, McAvoy would have preferred it if Xavier and Magneto stayed together. Like, really together. “It is a little bit of a mini-tragedy that him and Magneto don’t, you know, have sex and become married and become best friends.”)” — Daily Telegraph (via … I felt this way, no lie.
thefastfoodfiles: I’m not going to recommend fast food to anyone, however if you must have fast food and you are on Monterey Road near Alma, this the restaurant to go to. This Wendy’s made national headlines when a finger was supposedly discovered in their chili. More finger food jokes than you can count on well…say nine fingers were made because of this Wendy’s. from C. S. W., Wendy’s Old...
Sandy: i drunkenly shop sometimes =\
Sandy: imagine my surprise when i get packages in the mail
i’s gon’ drink wit mah boyz, but imma abort dat plan like my mamma...– Sandy and i are trying to write a dance club smash hit. I subscribe to the idea that if it has a good beat to it, no one will pay attention to the lyrics.
bestofwikipedia: Saudade is a Portuguese language word difficult to translate adequately, which describes a deep emotional state of nostalgic longing for something or someone that one was fond of and which is lost. It often carries a fatalist tone and a repressed knowledge that the object of longing might really never return. (via @werttrew)
One time in Junior High a girl i liked got a sunburn all over. She was in that awkward peeling stage and, expressing my concern, i asked, “Oh my god, what happened to your face?” Her response? “Oh my god, what happened to your face?” We’re not friends anymore.
To The Man With The Baby On Board Sign
I can only assume that this sign means that you’ve got a baby on board. Here’s why it’s stupid: Everyone ignores this sign. Everyone. Except maybe the deranged, but literally no on cares that you have a baby on board. No one is going to say to themselves, “Oh, there’s a baby on board? Maybe i won’t run you off the road like i was totally going to if you didn’t have a baby on board.” If someone...