Phuong: You've eaten like half of that.
Serena: I've eaten more than half; i had like a third of that.
Phuong: A third is less than half.
Paul: Thib doesn't talk to me much anymore
Paul: I don't know why
Phuong: do you miss his textual embrace?
Phuong: i can tell him that
Phuong: i will use that phrase too
Phuong: 'cause when you get that feelin'
Phuong: you need textual healing
Paul: I do miss it, but I more wonder why he stopped
Phuong: i don't know how else to say this, but...paul misses you.
Thib: well, that doesn't surprise me
Thib: I miss him too
Phuong: i don't like where this is going
A three-day-old human embryo is a collection of 150 cells called a blastocyst....– Sam Harris, on stem cell research (via loveyourchaos)
copycats: Oh My Sweet Carolina - Adam Duritz...
Eric: my penis just went inside myself
Brian: is it really warm in here?
Phuong: i'm comfortable.
Brian: i thought i was running a fever
Phuong: it's probably the bieber fever. it's been going around.
Phuong: did i tell you how i think a guy came on me last week?
Phuong: came onto
Phuong: It's a romantic comedy. Join the club!
Debra: I'm sorry, i don't find this funny OR romantic.
Phuong: I have something for you.
Paul: Uh-oh. What is it?
Phuong: An STD.
Paul: Oh. Which one?
Phuong: All of them. You should get tested.
keithc: Are there facebook meetups and twitter meetups?
inky: yeah, there was a great one in egypt recently
This girl comes in and asks me if we’re accepting medical. I tell her yes,...– Sandy, who works for an optometrist
Sandy: jason statham is my boyfriend
Sandy: just thought you should know
Phuong: i can't decide
Phuong: if i want to fuck him
Phuong: or if i want to BE him.
Sandy: oh you want to be him??
Phuong: can both of us BE him? and then fuck each other? because then it would be fucking him AND being him?
Sandy: oh my god.
Sandy: i don't want to be him
Phuong: find a manlier example of a man.
Phuong: i dare you.
Phuong: who else can get 3 sequel movies where he just runs around and beats people up
Phuong: transporter 2 & 3
Phuong: crank 2
Phuong: come on!
Phuong: the first of those movies was just him kicking all sorts of ass
Phuong: and they made more movies of him doing that
Sandy: then you be him
Phuong: would you fuck me?
Sandy: you can be him and i can fuck him
Sandy: omg i got a boner
Phuong: i would tumbl that if i didn't know you were going to kill me.
Sandy: go ahead
Traffic Collision Damage
Brian: i bet they have a whole department devoted to paying people like me. think of how many people muni hits.
Brian: oh, i just googled it and found a form online. hahaha
Brian: i wonder if it's just that easy.
Phuong: what did you even google?
Brian: "how to make a claim against city of san francisco traffic collision damage"
Brian: oh, sorry, that was my cat
Serial Killery Name
Phuong: You have a serial killery name. John Paul Reed. Like John Wayne Gacy or Paul John Knowles.
Paul: I've been told that before.
Phuong: Ethically, you have to kill at least three people over a span of time now.
Paul: Only 3, huh? That doesn't sound too bad!
Phuong: You're 1/3 of the way there. If you get caught, i'll hire a prostitute for conjugal visits. I don't do jailhouse sex.
Paul: Really? I thought someone would've tapped that shit in county...
Phuong: You have me confused for your mother. I know, we look a lot alike. I've been told this many times before.
Paul: It's probably the huge breasts you both have and your similar penchants for fattening foods.
Phuong: Too bad i haven't got her Adam's apple or giant cock.
Paul: It's true; you kind of are girly.
Not As Pleasant.
me: kill me
Chris: with bourbon?
Chris: what a lovely way to go that would be
me: like choking on a dick?
Chris: no, not like that at all
me: not as pleasant.