February 2011
31 posts
ZOOEY'S MISCELLANY: 20 great excuses for not... →
zooeydeschanel:
1. I don’t like this chair.
2. I’m tired.
3. I can’t remember what I am working on.
4. I’m simultaneously too warm AND too cold.
5. Adult attention deficit disorder.
6. Memories of childhood. So deep.
7. There are too many people fussing with chairs around here.
8. I’ve had too…
January 2011
28 posts
Wet Food
Nick: wet food is the greatest
Nick: we could have soup
Nick: what goes good with water?
Me: hops, malt, and yeast?
Hot Or Not: Dane Cook Edition
Sandy: Ha
Sandy: Dane cook
me: ugh
me: mostly not
me: but something about him is hot. something.
me: like
me: i would do him
me: but then i would feel really really shitty afterward.
Mom: I love you, son.
Me: I love you, mom.
Yelp Review for First Crush →
The food was good enough, but the SERVICE BEYOND SUCKED!!! EXCLAMATION EXCLAMATION EXCLAMATION!!! Waiter, if you are reading this, YOU NEED TO WORK ON YOUR A-GAME!
It’s people like this that make me hate Yelp. Just because you have an opinion doesn’t mean you’re qualified to state it.
copycats:
Lovesong by Adele originally by The...
Vaporize by Broken Bells
Today’s theme...
Sandy: asshole
“I think i left my immersion blender in San Jose in storage. My sauce is going to...”
– me to Anna, re: my pasta sauce.
Bipolarity
Sandy: i want to call and say "IT'S A PENNY!!"
Sandy: JUST GIVE ME THE DISCOUNT
Sandy: i really miss bananas
Sandy: i want to see the new hairs
“You have a better chance of cancelling your AOL membership than getting useful...”
– Me to Eric after he asked about using his wireless card.
In Which I Am Embarrassed By My Public School...
1993 - 3rd Grade: You stood there at the chalkboard and shot down my offer that will not contracts to won’t. Then you proceeded to write would not on the board and cross out the U L D and O to “prove” that won’t is a contraction of would not. This is not to mention you did this directly beneath where you had already shown that would not contracts to wouldn’t.
1993 -...
Iceland Believes In Elves
Phuong: Iceland believes in elves.
Filipe: What do you mean?
Phuong: Iceland believes in elves. Iceland believes in elves. Iceland. Believes. In Elves.
Filipe: You keep saying that, but i still don't understand what you mean.
Phuong: Iceland believes in elves like America believes in eagles.
[laughter]
Matt: That has got to be the best analogy for this entire conversation.
Come On Petunia by The Blow
It’s a few...
Waiting For Something
Sometimes i just stare at my computer and pretend like i’m waiting for something to happen. I guess i am waiting for something to happen. Like a meteor crashing through the roof.
Fuck You 2010
In the final moments of 2010 i was in the shower feeling the water wash away all of the grief, sin, sadness, defeat, madness, and hatred for nearly everything that the year has thrown at me. The shitshow is over and i vow to rectify everything that went wrong in the past 365 days, because damn it i deserve to be happy again.