February 2011
31 posts
ZOOEY'S MISCELLANY: 20 great excuses for not... →
zooeydeschanel: 1. I don’t like this chair. 2. I’m tired. 3. I can’t remember what I am working on. 4. I’m simultaneously too warm AND too cold. 5. Adult attention deficit disorder. 6. Memories of childhood. So deep. 7. There are too many people fussing with chairs around here. 8. I’ve had too…
Feb 1st
3,396 notes
January 2011
28 posts
Wet Food
Nick: wet food is the greatest
Nick: we could have soup
Nick: what goes good with water?
Me: hops, malt, and yeast?
Jan 28th
Hot Or Not: Dane Cook Edition
Sandy: Ha
Sandy: Dane cook
me: ugh
me: mostly not
me: but something about him is hot. something.
me: like
me: i would do him
me: but then i would feel really really shitty afterward.
Jan 27th
Jan 27th
3 notes
Mom: I love you, son.
Me: I love you, mom.
Jan 26th
Jan 21st
1 note
Yelp Review for First Crush →
The food was good enough, but the SERVICE BEYOND SUCKED!!!  EXCLAMATION EXCLAMATION EXCLAMATION!!!  Waiter, if you are reading this, YOU NEED TO WORK ON YOUR A-GAME! It’s people like this that make me hate Yelp. Just because you have an opinion doesn’t mean you’re qualified to state it.
Jan 21st
Listencopycats: Lovesong by Adele originally by The...
Jan 20th
629 notes
ListenVaporize by Broken Bells Today’s theme...
Jan 20th
Jan 20th
Sandy: asshole
Jan 18th
Jan 18th
Jan 17th
91 notes
“I think i left my immersion blender in San Jose in storage. My sauce is going to...”
– me to Anna, re: my pasta sauce.
Jan 17th
Jan 14th
525 notes
Bipolarity
Sandy: i want to call and say "IT'S A PENNY!!"
Sandy: JUST GIVE ME THE DISCOUNT
Sandy: i really miss bananas
Sandy: i want to see the new hairs
Jan 14th
“You have a better chance of cancelling your AOL membership than getting useful...”
– Me to Eric after he asked about using his wireless card.
Jan 13th
Jan 13th
58 notes
In Which I Am Embarrassed By My Public School...
1993 - 3rd Grade: You stood there at the chalkboard and shot down my offer that will not contracts to won’t. Then you proceeded to write would not on the board and cross out the U L D and O to “prove” that won’t is a contraction of would not. This is not to mention you did this directly beneath where you had already shown that would not contracts to wouldn’t. 1993 -...
Jan 13th
1 note
Iceland Believes In Elves
Phuong: Iceland believes in elves.
Filipe: What do you mean?
Phuong: Iceland believes in elves. Iceland believes in elves. Iceland. Believes. In Elves.
Filipe: You keep saying that, but i still don't understand what you mean.
Phuong: Iceland believes in elves like America believes in eagles.
[laughter]
Matt: That has got to be the best analogy for this entire conversation.
Jan 12th
Jan 11th
82 notes
ListenCome On Petunia by The Blow It’s a few...
Jan 7th
1 note
Jan 6th
Waiting For Something
Sometimes i just stare at my computer and pretend like i’m waiting for something to happen. I guess i am waiting for something to happen. Like a meteor crashing through the roof.
Jan 4th
Jan 3rd
118 notes
Jan 3rd
Jan 2nd
9 notes
Fuck You 2010
In the final moments of 2010 i was in the shower feeling the water wash away all of the grief, sin, sadness, defeat, madness, and hatred for nearly everything that the year has thrown at me. The shitshow is over and i vow to rectify everything that went wrong in the past 365 days, because damn it i deserve to be happy again.
Jan 1st