Phuong: "Sheila Buff"
Phuong: i read that as "shia laboeuf"
Joanna: haha so did i
Down The Street
Phuong: Oh! I'm so excited to be living down the street—
Vivian: I know! Down the street from me!
Phuong: —from Park Chow!
Vivian: ... You jerk!
david: Werewolf Bar Mitzvah by Tracy Jordan via...
My apartment has mice. How do i know this for sure? Last week when a boy was over and we were watching a movie on the couch, a mouse ran along the wall, played on the rug a bit, and disappeared beneath the couch. Awesome! What’s better though, is that i had left a pie plate out on my desk. It was full of crumbs. I walked into my room last night to see the plate was clean. My first thought...
PIECES OF SHIT
Chris: oh dude
Chris: so for halloween cathy and i are going to be
Chris: PIECES OF SHIT
Chris: jersey shore people
me: what's the diff?
Smacking Him Gently
As relayed to Sandy, who still refuses to get a tumblr account: every time the boy sleeps over, i end up rolling over and smacking him gently in the face, which wakes up both of us. it’s like my hand just goes to his face like i’m trying to caress him in our sleep but i can’t find his face with my palm, so i just give him the back of my hand. and feel around for a moment. ...
I saw Scott Kravitz tell a story last month at the Porchlight and really enjoyed his story. For some reason last night i decided to go to the Porchlight website and found a link to his portfolio. This is a story he told last year, but just as funny.
me: wats yo # baby?
me: hit me up yo
Sandy: fa sho. i hit yo up when i gets to tha heezy
me: dis shiet is fukkin dope
Sandy: i don't like ghetto phuong
Comforting And Awesome: The Expendables →
A Conversation-review of the movie from SFAppeal, containing such highlights as: Katie: I agree. I didn’t see The Wrestler because I cannot forgive Aronofsky for The Fountain, so I’m not on the Rourke-resurrected bandwagon. And I HATED Iron Man 2. But! He restored my kindness towards him in this role. Even though he cried and it was cheesy. Eve: I totally bought the cry. And I am...
haha you my ho ♥– Susan
McSweeney's Rejected Me Again
So, presented as was submitted to McSweeney’s for publication, here is the list i wrote last week (dated 5 August 2010). Emails I Should Have Sent My Boss This Morning Instead Of Getting To Work On Time Got sprayed in the face with pee. Will be late. Got a faceful of piss this morning. Taking a later train. Rode scooter through a cloud of urine. Went home to shower. In later. Hobo...
Fake Conversation #4
Phuong: Let's talk about Sandy!
Debra: Let's not!
Joanna, Vero, Susan: Okay.
Sandy: now that debra has her puppy, she doesn't want to call in chola or kitty
Sandy: only when it was mine. puta bitch
me: jo and i were talking
me: we think you should name yours jake gyllenhaal
me: and debra can name hers maggie gyllenhaal
Sandy: you guys should get your own puppies and call them whatever you want!
me: i'm calling mine sandy castillo, even if it's a boy.
me: and if i get a second one, i'll name it debra valdez, but only if it's a girl
me: because she'll be a bitch.
Gabriel: He doesnt like to have buttsex but he loves the idea of it.
Gabriel: "I want it to feel good so bad, but it just doesnt"
But Will It Make You Happy? →
I only read the first page, but it’s a really good first page!
If it comes down to saving the earth or sleep…sorry Earth!– Joanna
I wonder if anyone on their deathbed has said ‘beam me up, Scotty’ and died.– Jessi (via chartier)
Phuong: it's so good, it's like
Phuong: really really good
Phuong: like something else really good that you like
Phuong: it is like vagina
Phuong: like a really deep vagina
Chris: well then
Phuong: with multiple levels of penetrability.
I wish I could shit like that– Saeedi
Fake Conversation #3
Phuong: You know what you guys? I'm kind of glad Sandy's not on Tumblr.
Susan: Oh yeah? Why's that?
Vero: Oh, i get it! It's so we can shittalk her behind her back.
Joanna: Right! Because what are the chances she'll read Tumblr if she doesn't have one?
Debra: Puta bitch.
deelikey: Sharkpig - They make the best looking video clips for those special times in your life. This one is probably my fav that I’ve seen from them. I like the ones with funner, make you wanna dance songs instead of the slow Sade, I’m so in love with you songs. This video is supercute. I’m totally inspired.
jotoldyouso: I imagine a lot of gays are doing this today.
Heartless by William Fitzsimmons (originally by...
Fake Conversation #2
Vero: Tumblr is super awesome wicked kick ass crazy sexy cool. Why didn't i sign up for this before?
Phuong: I don't know, but i agree with all of the above.
Susan: Me too! Now we get to see Layla all the time every day!
Joanna: Yeah, these 365 projects are so much easier on Tumblr than facebook.
Debra: And i get to post all my artsy fartsy cool shit too!
Fake Conversation #1
Sandy: I should get a puppy.
Phuong: You should get a Tumblr.
Sandy: I should take pictures of my puppy.
Joanna: You should post pictures of your puppy on Tumblr.
Sandy: I should have conversations with my puppy.
Debra: You should post conversations with your puppy on Tumblr.
Sandy: I should make videos of my puppy.
Susan: You should post videos of your puppy on Tumblr.
Sandy: I should just get a Tumblr and do all those things you're telling me to do to shut you up. Geez! #ITSAPROCESS
Google Voice attempted to give me a transcript of...
1000 Awesome Things: The Top 1000 →