February 2010
59 posts
I can see your Halo. Seriously. All up in my face.
tylercoates:
God Bless You, Internet.
January 2010
56 posts
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“Jess, my thighs are so stiff. Will you massage them for me?”
– Eric fezbot
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...Not Drink?
phuong: i think i'm just all "oh no my liver!" because of all the boozing i've been doing this week.
susan: hahaha
phuong: i'm taking a day off from drinking today.
susan: well you could always... not drink?
phuong: HAHAHAHA
susan: hahaha
“good god, [she] is like that nun in catholic school that moves silently and...”
– Uhm, i may have said this.
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This. →
tylercoates:
<3 <3 <3
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Racist.
Crubio: why the hell did i think phuongs last name was nguyen?
Crubio: oh well
fenchurch: HAHAHA
fenchurch: Racist.
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Point Break LIVE! →
Best of all, the starring role of Keanu will be selected at random from the audience each night, with the lucky winner reading their entire script off of cue-cards. This method manages to capture the rawness of a Keanu Reeves performance even from those who generally think themselves incapable of acting.
“He brought it over from that place on the East Coast. What’s it called?
...”
– me, re: salt water taffy found in the office
Tumblarity
You know what? I actually kind of liked that little tumblarity thing. Not because it let me know how popular i was—i wasn’t and never will be—but because of one of the other functions on that page. It let me know how many times in the past seven days i made a post of a certain type. It told me i tumbld 4 chats, 2 quotes, 1 link, 2 photos, 0 texts and videos. It also had information on how...
“Watch my baby so i can get fucked up.”
– Vivian; i’m pretty sure context isn’t required here.
Last night i had a dream about Burke.
And i really really shouldn’t have.
Can’t Find My Way Home by Alana Davis...
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“My mom gave me her used Coach purse a couple weeks ago to which I replied,...”
– Vivian
SHUT Uppp
scotty: i want to playyy city of heors
phuong: really?
phuong: wow
phuong: you might as well go pick up world of warcraft too
scotty: SHUT Uppp
Floor collapses at Weight Watchers meeting →
Part of me was hoping this wasn’t true.
Conversations About the Internet #5: Anonymous... →
Employee: I’m not sure when exactly it was deprecated, but we did have a master password at one point where you could type in any user’s user ID, and then the password. I’m not going to give you the exact password, but with upper and lower case, symbols, numbers, all of the above, it spelled out ‘Chuck Norris,’ more or less. It was pretty fantastic.
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Because They're Bitches
Me: the nieces hate all my friends.
Me: all of them.
Jessica: WHAT
Jessica: how?
Me: because they're bitches
Me: you won't like them either.
Jessica: why not?
Me: because they're bitches.
Me: follow along here.
“Vy I miss Averie too, bring her down this Sat. I will tae you out for lucnh....”
– my sister; my favorite part is where she spelled “you” backwards.
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Hell Froze Over
Jenn: whore
Phuong: whatever.
Phuong: i didn't get paid last night.
Phuong: i'm out of the whoring business.
Jenn: k slut
Jenn: who'd you do this time
Phuong: and i didn't put out last night.
Phuong: so technically i'm temporarily out of the slutting business too.
Jenn: wow
Jenn: amazing
Phuong: BURN ON JENN
Jenn: hardly
Jenn: i better go buy a lotto ticket cause obviously hell froze over
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No A Slut
Phuong: and am i so used to either jumping in with some guy on the first date or dating my exes that i don't know how to date a normal person anymore?
Phuong: god, what am i?
Dottie: a whore
Dottie: no a slut
Dottie: whores get paid
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Webstalk Me
Phuong: now that i've got his email address, do i webstalk [more than i've already webstalked]?
Jessica: ye
Phuong: really?
Phuong: that sounds bad.
Phuong: can you webstalk me?
Phuong: webstalk me and tell me what you find.
Phuong: is that a strange request?
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“Did you just move in?”
– Whitney :(
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I Just Eat A Lot
saeedi: you really should eat breakfast, so you're not famished at noon.
phuong: i did eat breakfast...
phuong: :(
phuong: i just eat a lot.
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A Sitcom
Phuong: this whole hetero thing is throwing me off.
Phuong: maybe this is why i don't like gay bars
Phuong: because i go and get drunk and feel out of place because i'm suddenly a straight guy surrounded by homos.
Brian: i feel like there is a story in here somewhere.
Brian: or a sitcom.
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Something On Foodchannel
Scottie: they just showed
Scottie: something on foodchannel
Scottie: that looked like a dildo
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Would You Like Fries With That?
Susan: mmm paprika
Susan: thats a good idea
Susan: and now im drooling
Susan: awesome.
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The Plague
I am pretty pissed right now that The Hag didn’t stay home, but brought her plague around and now i’ve got it. I can breathe through only one side of my face, my eyes want to pop out of their sockets, i’m a little dizzy, my cognitive abilities are not fully functional, and I’M ABOUT TO CUT A BITCH.
Ask! →
Today i was racially profiled at work. Ask me about it!
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“you have some of the most fucked up faces”
– Jenn